“Why would someone pay to cuddle?” It’s a question I’ve been asked by multiple people since I’ve become a certified Cuddlist. There are many reasons to pay for cuddling, but first let’s define what professional cuddling actually is.
Cuddlists are trained and certified to provide consensual, affectionate, non-sexual therapeutic touch, and clear communication. There is a code of conduct that is followed to create safety in the session. Both the client and the Cuddlist agree to speak up if anything is uncomfortable at any time. This creates a space for relaxation, exploration, and comfort.
So lets come back to the question of “why pay for a cuddle session?” As I said, there are many reasons why someone might seek out cuddle therapy. See if any of these examples resonate with you:
• “I’m not in a relationship right now and am not really interested in dating but I miss having physical affection in my life that’s not sex.”
• “I’m really shy and feel insecure about sharing touch with other people but I’d like to learn how to be more confident around touch.”
• “I’m a survivor/have depression/anxiety/PTSD/etc. and sharing touch is really hard for me. I want to receive touch where I feel safe and don’t have to worry that my boundaries are going to be violated/I will be judged or shamed.”
• “I feel lonely and/or stressed out and would like to relax and feel held.”
• “I want to learn how to be a better listener and communicator when it comes to touch and consent.”
• “I want to be able to connect and share playful non-sexual contact like I used to when I was a kid.”
• “I want to be held and feel affection without any expectations or judgment.”
• “I recently lost a loved one and want a space where I can receive comforting touch and grieve.”
• “I have a disability/chronic illness and don’t have much access to affectionate physical contact. I’d like to experience a safe space to share touch.”
I could go on but I hope you get a sense of why someone would want to pay to have a session with a professional cuddler. Just being curious about cuddling is a wonderful reason to see a Cuddlist too!
It also seems that there is an underlying reason why I get asked this question, which is that we live in a culture where we’re taught (in subtle and not so subtle ways) that sharing physical affection always leads to sex. People pay for touch like massage all the time, but because cuddling is shared touch, it can evoke that message of ‘touch leads to sex’ creating confusion about what professional cuddling is really about. As someone with a background in sex education, I can attest to how much damage this idea of touch always leading to sex can be and how important it is to break down this idea. Professional cuddling provides an excellent way to learn hands-on how sharing physical affection does not have to be sexual. Working with a Cuddlist can offer new insights into the transformative power of touch, communication, and consent.
I hope what I’ve written helps you understand why paying to cuddle is both a legitimate and needed service. If you are interested in learning more or experiencing a Cuddlist session first-hand, please contact me.